why am i dreaming such a horrible nightmare?

NIGHTMARE

AND

NIGHTMARES!

nvm.
by tha time i wake up, it`ll b alrighte.

my life is jus a nightmare.

i donte need t worry.

im such a letdown.
a LETDOWN t everyone.
esp my teachers.

why cante i produce gd results for once?
t prove my teachers.
that i am capable.

fer no matter what, i`ll still live my life as it is.

im following God`s plan fer mie, am i?

mayb its nt a dream afterall.


its reality.
back t reality.

what`s done is done.
what`s done cante b undone.

i knw i din put much effort throughout tha year.
i cramp`d it up til tha last minute.
it`s wrong.
i knw my mistake now.
i gonna study real hard now.
this holidays.
i`ll get next yrs bk t study.
preparation early.
i cant back out now.
though i din do v well.
i gave someone my word.
i said i`ll give off my best and do well.
i did give my best but i din do well.
im really disappoint`d.
w myself.

why did i even try t put in effort earlier.
life.

LIFE

life.it`s just full of regrets.
i will do well next yr.
i knw i must.
i wanna prove people.that i can.
though i miss it this yr, theres way more chances fer mie.

thks shumei for telling mie that running away frm tha problem is nt a solution.
going overseas is just one way of running away frm tha prob.

i donte wanna live a fugitive life
always running away frm problems.
thn i will never have the courage t overcome problems.

all this are part and parcel of life
life.
it`s always life.

the hectic life we live.


it`s just so hard t accept tha fact of my results.
humainties room will always b a reminicence of sorrows and laughters.

especially sorrows.
the tears just flows.we all just gladly contribute.
really thank those who just let mie stress out on them. it`s been hard on me.
i`ve been thru a terrible week. stressing and all emotional stuffs.
i knw its been hard on everyone else too.

i hope everyone out there.
feeling you have not been given another chance, stumbl`d.
just t let you knw. there are many chances in life.
its just whether you see them coming or not.
and if you stumbled many times, you have friends.
people to bring you on your feet again.
so donte give up on yourself.
i want`d t give up.

give up.
but i knw its not tha correct choice.
shd i?

shd i not?

decision.

decision.
making decision is another tuff thing in life.


now.
i seriously want t change.
turn over a new leaf.
i want t.
want t.

want t.

i hope tml.
everything will just turn out fine.

i need laughter.
laughters i used t have.
its all fake now.

the laughters outside cant take the place of what im feeling inside.
mixed feelings.
how can i knw?
i want t go back t the care-free, happy-go-lucky girl i us`d t be.

im not a perfect girl trying to fit in this perfect? world.
if life were t b perfect.
i wont knw where i stand.
out at tha corner of tha world?
life`s such a misery, such a pain.

PAIN.

give me back my fantasy!
give me back all the laughters and joy.
where all the misery just seem so far.
give me back what i want.
what i want is all the JOY.
S-T-R-E-S-S

exams over and i want t have tha fun i could.
who would give mie?